2019 in My Mind

If my 2018 can compare to Tokyo Disney Sea’s Tower of Terror attraction (by means I lifted to higher place before being dropped down violently), 2019 seems like a nice ride on Indiana Jones Adventure: Temple of the Crystal Skull attraction. Bit thriller but so far fun with glimpse surprises (both pleasant and unpleasant). This year, I learned about bitter pills of life actually help you to reach a decent adult life. Not only bitter pills —of course, I also got sweet candies in form of new friends, reconnection with God, family, and friends also met many good people who became friends and partners for many occasions.

Shirakawago from above

This year was started with impromptu trips to another side of the Kanto region of Japan that I never visited before. That trip then continues to many trips to many places around Kanto and one trip Shirakawago and Kanazawa in the Chubu area (I rarely went outside the Kanto area due to time and budget issue). Kanazawa is still to be one of the favorite places I ever visited in Japan and I really want to return to Kanazawa in a longer period in 2020. Another new place that became my favorite place to visit is along the Izu coast in Shizuoka prefecture. I stopped for a short time in Atami to change a train and I really want to back to Atami to enjoy their famous onsen resorts*. I also had many opportunities to enjoy many interesting places in Tokyo, especially museums. It was started as Summer Night in Museum Event and I started to become to it. My colleague told me about this “museum tickets book” that can be used to visited museums in Tokyo for 2 months so I probably will buy that book next year. Another thing I want to challenge next year is real-time mysteries and escape games, especially the one that holding by Tokyo Metro Subways (available in English) and Tokyo Toei Subway & Keio Subway.

Part of Oyama Shrine in Kanazawa
Jogasaki Coast, Izu Peninsula

Ups and downs also happen in my private life. In 2019, I decided to go to the mental clinic to fixing manage my hyperactive brain and other issues following it while also doing therapy for my inner child problem. I learned in a hard way that your stress and the mental issue are seriously affecting my physical health and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I mean, adulting is hard, and everyone had been f*cked by it at least once in their lifetime. It sometimes harder if you had a hyperactive brain like me because people with hyperactive brains tend to be judged and labeled from an early age, so walking adulthood path with stereotypes is waaay much painful. Reconnecting my self with God also helps a lot, because I started to trying let it go for everything in our life is already designed by God. In general, I’m pretty okay and awesome while sometimes there’s a bit an issue with my mood as I tend to be super melancholic when it cames. I almost have no problem at work (except to those small-but-critical-error caused by my hyperactive brains) and I dare to say I’m doing much better than in 2018.

In 2019, I re-evaluated my desire to meet a lifetime partner and start from the baby step by fixing my self first. Meet a lifetime partner isn’t an easy thing to do, and when you had low self-esteem combined with the hyperactive brain, it takes many extra steps. I was though I had met a person I want to spend my life with, then I knew I was wrong. To be honest, my dating game in 2019 is super boring, started with being ghosted then I didn’t meet anyone interesting or potential enough for fun and a meaningful date. The moment I found out the guy I was looking for already taken right in front of my eyes lol I know it’s time for me to rewrite everything and making a new plan from scratch. So 2020, I’m ready for new love adventure 😉

Talk about a broken heart, in 2019 my skin is broken my heart more than love. I suspected it started since I developed an allergic towards paracetamol/acetaminophen but it getting worsed after my mental break down. I stopped wearing full makeup (but keep the lipstick and brows because lipstick and brows are basic life-essential) but my skin still getting more and more sensitive. Wrong cleanser or moisturizer will make my skin itchy and bumpy and while I was trying my best to keep all my skincare and makeup products in halal or at least vegan and vegetarian range, most of those brands aren’t make my skin happy and I getting more frustrated each time, thinking about how time and money consuming it was. I’m glad God showed me the way when I cleaned my room and found many skincare samples from 2 years ago. I tried Paul & Joe’s face oil and herbal lotion (toner) and it really helps so now my skincare routine is pretty simple, only consist of face oil, toner, and sunscreens. Of course not forget to do a proper cleansing and I also found this brand called CLAYPATHY and while not every item they have suited my skin, I found their clay foam and cleansing oil (both are free from animal ingredients) working well so my skin is quite okay for now.

The most important thing is, I turned 30 in 2019, and while many things happen in 30 years of my life, one of my biggest wishes, for now, is to age gracefully in the next year and decade. In happiness, meaningful and awesome connection with God, families, friends, and my self. Good luck to everyone too!

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